When discussing the impact of Instagram on her career for the 2013 Victoria’s Secret fashion show, super smoke Candice Swanepoel acknowledged she sometimes posts pH๏τos and videos that are deemed too racy by the Insta-censors.
I haven’t the slightest clue what she’s talking about.
Thankfully in an instance of sound Insta-judgement, Candice celebrated her third millionth Insta-follower by posting a #gangstamusicvideo in #paradise. Hype Williams couldn’t have sH๏τ this any better.
I’ve been Candice’s 2,271,873rd Insta-follower ever since she was honored with the $10 million dollar bra in last year’s show. After months of data collection and pH๏τographic arithmetic, I’ve come to the conclusion that Candice’s sweet dance moves in fact challenge one Katherine Upton’s. I dare not besmirch Kate the Great’s stature in society, but I’ve collected enough data to generate a correlation between skills of sweet dance moves and super smoke skills. This conclusion warrants a VOXsplaination to statistically contextualize Candice Swanepoel’s bangin’ dance moves.
Hurricane Candice
Both a snappy name for a hurricane and a handy way to loosen her hips, Candice can whip out this move to warm up before a shoot.
Victoria’s Angels
Like on the runway, Candice twerks better in a team.
Jammie Jamming
Candice lets it loose in both work and business casual.
SI and VS are a lot alike
Despite their eon-long blood feud, Sports Illustrated’s and Victoria’s Secret swim smoke shoots are very similar. Maybe the two swim smoke insтιтutions should stop looking at what makes them different and start looking at what makes them the same. Brokering swim smoke peace? You can hand me the Nobel Peace Prize now.