To start with, let’s get the obvious question out of the way: how can someone who starred in TV’s most popular reality series, who has 167 million Instagram followers and constant tabloid headlines following her every move, be in any way underrated? Well, to paraphrase Albert Einstein, who married his first cousin, it’s all relatives.
Relatives, as in her sisters. 167 million Instagram followers might sound like a lot, but it’s the lowest count in the whole family (if you don’t include mum Kris Jenner and Kourtney’s ex-partner Scott Disick, which, come on, who does?).
In the world’s most famous Armenian family, Kim (298 million followers) gets all the attention, Khloe (232 million followers) gets the genuine love and concern from fans, Kendall (228 million followers) gets the irrational hate from fans, and one-time billionaire Kylie (325 million followers) gets all those zoomers obsessed with make-up and pregnancy news. Kourtney, the eldest sibling at 42, is just there, neither ignored nor beloved.
It might make sense, but it’s wrong. Because Kourtney is clearly the best one. If you were worried this whole article was going to be a weird love letter to Kourtney Kardashian, you were right. How much do I love Kourtney Kardashian? Let me count the ways.Firstly, she’s aloof and sarcastic, which are the two best traits in celebrities (humans, even). A celebrity who is conflicted about their fame but handles the circus with resigned humour is my kind of celebrity. I mean, it seems like a horrible life, but what are you gonna do, punch a paparazzi and drink to oblivion? Might as well just keep walking.
Turn to any random episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and watch Kourtney at work: she’s either low-key angry to even be involved in another dumb scene or dryly cracking the episode’s best one-liner (there’s a reason why “Kim, there’s people that are dying” became a rediscovered COVID-era meme). If the Kardashians were The Beatles, Kourtney would be George Harrison. If the Kardashians were the Showtime Lakers, Kourtney would be Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Who knows why she’s this way? Maybe it’s the classic ‘who gives a sнιт’ mentality of being an eldest sibling, or that she was 24 when the trio’s father, attorney Robert Kardashian, died just two months after he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. That would be traumatic for anyone, let alone the eldest kid in such a tight-knit family. But what am I, a psychiatrist? I just watch weird people do stupid things on reality TV (see: Khloe and Tristan) and then laser in on the prettiest ones
The other things I like about Kourtney? She has the verve of a street fighter and the integrity of a monk. One of the wilder episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians occurred during Season 18, when Kourtney and Kim got into their infamous “catfight” after Kim questioned Kourtney’s work ethic.
You should see the speed at which Kourtney jumped up and Wolverine’d Kim’s arms. “I will literally f— you up if you mention it again,” she warned as she threw bottled water at Kim’s face, and she did. I once read that the key to winning a street fight is to strike your opponent before they even know what’s going down; no needless squaring off or back-and-forth posturing. Kourtney understands. That’s someone you want by your side in an empty parking lot at night.
There’s also something to be said for Kourtney’s reluctance to buy into the show’s bizarre will they-won’t they romance between her and Disick. Disick, who transformed from a Gordon Gekko-esque suit-bro to a jaded casualty of overindulgence over the show’s 14-year run, is the father of Kourtney’s three kids; they split amid his substance abuse and infidelity.
But even by the show’s last episodes in Season 20 (which aired last March), the series was still hinting at a potential reunion, with Disick regularly declaring his love for Kourtney and even casually near-proposing over a family dinner like some sort of nutcase. I don’t think anyone told Kourtney about this plotline: she seemed annoyed the whole time, and, well, declined the proposal with a cool civility.